It is a saying we hear many times “You have to love yourself before you can truly love another” and this brings up a lot of emotion for many people, understandably!
Do we have to love ourselves? How do we know we love ourselves? How do we actually love ourselves? I believe to be some fundamental questions that the majority of people do not even like to look at yet alone answer.
Our self love obviously comes from our experiences as children. The primary relationship we had with our mother as a baby and then subsequently our parents, if we were fortunate enough to have both in our life, and then moving to the experiences that we had as children outside the home.
I want you to know right here and now whatever you experienced as a child was not your fault! Think of the stories that were created from that five-year-old child for you to make sense of the world and the things that may have been happening in your life. You may have carried that same story for the rest of your life. Now, that story creates a fracture as it doesn’t fit into your beliefs about yourself. This may be where you now self sabotage your life to fit that story that you were told as a child.
Every human being that is born into this world is worthy of love and happiness!
How do we break free from the stories we created as children and learn to love ourselves unconditionally? Here are some steps to begin the process;
1. Fill your life with gratitude:
If we are not thankful for things, we have in our life we will not receive more. Yet the things we do not have gratitude for will leave us. One of the easiest things we can shift in our life is the focus from what we do not have to what we do!
2. Choose your words carefully;
Begin to take note of how you use your words when talking about yourself. Not only out load however, more so in your mind! It is not until we slow down and start to listen that we may notice that those words are not actually our own they are the words of those around us. Change the words to positive ones even if you don’t believe them, over time they will replace the bad thoughts and words!
3. Nourish yourself;
Do you care for your body or do you consciously or subconsciously punish yourself with the way you nourish yourself? Interestingly, both the words you use towards yourself and what you choose to put or not put into your body is the same. Begin to see how the choices are affecting your body, are the good or bad? Remember, this is not to judge yourself only to become aware so you may choose something different!
4. Imagine a better you;
As humans we are a working progress, not one human on this earth is perfect! Do yourself a favour and don’t expect to be. As you look back learn not to judge your past decisions with the knowledge you hold now! You did not hold that knowledge then. The same goes for the now and your future. As you gain new knowledge you do things a different way. Sometimes that will work and sometimes not. Look at today and everyday forward as creating a better version of you!
5. Believe in you!
The one thing that no-one in this world has control of is your thoughts. It doesn’t matter what the government, your parents, teachers, family, friends, colleagues etc. say you have autonomy over your own thoughts! Right here, right now, take control over your thoughts. Allow the words that have been used against you to fall away and create a new thought pattern, the pattern that you believe in you! That you love you! That you are worthy of your own love! That you are worthy!
Would you like to do some more work and take control of your own healing? I have created Intro Boost your Self Esteem why not make today the first day of something different?